A letter to my boys

To my boys,

We live in a big loving family. You can always rely on me for cuddles and love and affection. When you step out of line you can also rely on me to steer you back on track. You won’t always like how this is done but when you look back on this in years to come, as wonderfully turned out young men, you will understand and even thank me!

You must………

1. Be kind
2. Be respectful
3. Listen to each other
4. Be patient
5. Be thankful
6. Be compassionate
7. Say please and thank you.
8. Laugh lots
9. Hug lots
10. Be happy

Rudeness, spitefulness and ganging up on each other (or on me!) will not be tolerated.  You are all equally as important as each other and I love you all as much as each other.  As I tell anyone who questions why your Dad and I had four boys, “your love doesn’t get divided when you have another child, it is simply enhanced.”  I have enough love in me to give all of you so don’t ever feel like you have to compete for it.

Competitiveness, fighting and bickering is inevitable.  You are four boys close in age and I am not naive enough to think we will spend our days holding hands and singing kumbayah round the campfire after you have read this.

But when you take things too far or you are hurtful to each other, physically or mentally, I will step in.  When you are grown up in the real world, you will suffer consequences when you step out of line.  As such, here at home, you will suffer consequences if you step out of line.  If you are out of line to each other, you will do something kind for the person you have hurt or upset.  They can choose from the below list.

1. Take them a drink of water at bedtime
2. Play a game of their choice with them.
3. Buy them a chocolate bar
4. Prepare them some fruit.
5. Read to them for 15 minutes.
6. Allow them 15 minutes to play on your kindle or such like.

If you step out of line to me or your dad, you will have an electronics ban for bad behaviour. To remove this ban you will need to earn 100 points from the below list.

1. Hoover – 40 points
2. Sweep floors – 20 points
3. Fold clothes – 10 points
4. Help one of your brothers with something – 10 points
5. Clean inside of car – 40 points
6. Additional chores we may think up at the time – 10 – 40 points, depending on chore!

You have been lucky enough to be born into a loving family with three brothers to have fun with.  But remember, as lovely as it is being part of a big family, we all need our space sometimes.  We all have our days where we feel fed up and irritable.  It is ok to feel like this.  What isn’t ok is to take it out on others and make them miserable.  So when I tell you to go to your room to have some time to yourself, don’t take it as a punishment.  It is me recognising that things can get hectic round here and I appreciate you need some time out away from it all.  Your bedroom is your space for you to unwind so use it when you need it.

And last but not least, remember that I am not perfect either.  I don’t always handle things right.  I am guilty of shouting and screaming when things get too much at times.  I am only human and looking after four little boys is as challenging as it is rewarding.  But, I wouldn’t change it for the world.  I wouldn’t change any of you for the world.  I may not always like the behaviour you display but I will always love you. You are all wonderfully different and special in your own unique ways and I feel like the luckiest mum on earth to have you all.

I was destined to be your mum. xxxxxx

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