Be A Parent First And A Friend Second
“I Hate You Mum”
“You Are The Worst Mum In The World”
These words are hurtful. They cut like a knife.
I have heard more than my fair share of it lately, trust me. I expected to hear these words one day as I think all children will utter them at some point along with the stereotypical ‘Kevin and Perry’ “It’s so not fair”! Unfortunately this time seems to have arrived prematurely in my house though as my eldest who is uttering these words is just nine years old.
I have spent the last ten years growing and nurturing four little people. I do everything for them. I love them unconditionally and I always will.
I chose to be mum of four children. Being around my boys to see them grow was the most important thing in the world to me………………. is the most important thing in the world to me. I have seen them grow from a little bump inside me to the boys I see before me today.
So what am I doing to deserve these accusations?
I am being a parent, that’s what!
If he steps out of line, he gets told .
If he is rude, it isn’t tolerated.
If he pushes the boundaries too far, he gets punished.
Being a parent isn’t about winning favour with your child.
It is about teaching them right from wrong.
It is about bringing them up in a loving and caring environment.
It is about teaching them to be kind and respectful to others.
My boys will have many friends throughout life. I want to be their friend too but they will only ever have two parents. I need to be a parent first and a friend second. They aren’t always going to like me as I am the one who has to put boundaries in place. And if they don’t ever tell me they hate me then I am probably not doing my job properly.
My eldest will tell me that I am the worst mum in the world and then ask me to hold his hand whilst he falls asleep half an hour later. As my very wise five year old told me as I tucked him up in bed the other night ‘he doesn’t really mean it mum, they are just words’.
And if being the worst mum in the world means that I am teaching my children to be loving and thoughtful and kind and compassionate and respectful to others then I will happily take that one on the chin.