Being A Parent Is Tough!
I love my boys!
They make me laugh………
They make me feel alive…….
They make me thankful every day……..
They also make me mad in a way that no other person ever could.
People always make comments to me about how hard it must be having four boys. Every time I hear these comments I get on the defensive. I proclaim how great it is. I tell them how lucky I am. I let them know how I wouldn’t change a thing.
What I don’t tell them is how hard it can be at times.
I don’t tell them how the constant fighting gets me down.
I don’t tell them how the bickering makes me wish they all had a mute button.
I don’t tell them how they gang up on me as they now realise they outnumber me.
I don’t tell them how at times I feel completely out of control.
The past few weeks have been tough. Life as a mum of four boys is tough……….but usually a good sort of tough. But the past few weeks have been really tough.
Imagine your nine year old answering you back sarcastically whenever he is disciplined and flaring up at every little thing that doesn’t go his way.
Imagine your seven year old being a gorgeous little ray of sunshine with his friends at school and then barely managing to grunt at you when he gets home.
Imagine your five year old shouting ‘No’ at you whenever you ask him to get dressed……….put his shoes on……….brush his teeth………come to the dinner table……..get ready for bed……
Imagine your two year old throwing food around the house, drawing on the sofa with marker pen, weeing all over his bedroom floor in protest when put in there for punishment, lashing out at you when you tell him he can’t have another doughnut……..
I saw a Facebook infographic flash up the other day saying something along the lines of ‘if your child is badly behaved, you as the parent are to blame.’ Before I became a parent I probably would have agreed with this. It is all too easy to blame the parents though. The reality is that sometimes kids are simply little shits for want of a better word.
The past few weeks my boys have been disobedient. They have been disrespectful. They have been a disaster zone! On the whole this parenting malarkey has not been fun lately.
I have tried reasoning with them and I have tried disciplining them. I have moaned, I have yelled and I have cried.
Being an eternally positive person I would usually keep this to myself. I would go to bed and wake up the next morning with a fresh perspective hoping that it would be a better day.
I feel it is important to share this though. Share the reality that actually, being a parent is tough. Whether we have boys or girls or both. No matter how much we love being a mum or dad there are times when everything will just go pear shaped. There are times when our children will display such attitude and bad behaviour that we will question our parenting skills and wonder where we went wrong.
I won’t stay down for long though as I know that this is just a blip. I know that despite their tendency towards ‘little shit’ as opposed to ‘golden child’ at the moment, things will get better. I am a good person who will teach my children right from wrong. I will teach them how to behave. I will teach them how to be respectful. I will show them how to be caring and compassionate.
I know that it will turn out ok in the end and I also know that it is ok to feel like you need a break sometimes. What is it we are meant to say to them? “I love you but I don’t like your behaviour”. Well unfortunately I have been failing in the perfect parenting handbook this week and my vocabulary had been more prone towards “why are you being such a little brat”, “you are so selfish sometimes” and “you are seriously doing my head it”.
This is certainly not the positive vibe that my blogging journey started out on but it is the reality of it. Not every day is going to be great. That doesn’t mean that I don’t love my boys. I still wouldn’t change them for the world. It just means that I accept that it is ok to not be ok sometimes too.