Confide In Me!
Today I caught my six year old lying to me .
He is at the age where is starting to tell the odd porky pie and think he can get one over on me. Sometimes I let him think he has, just so he can feel like he has succeeded. But I know when he is fibbing. We mums just know. Be it a look in their eyes, a guilty turn of the head or just mothers intuition, we just know.
So when a situation occurred tonight, my husband and I put on our detective hats and started the interrogation into which of our four boys was responsible for the misconduct. I knew within seconds of looking into each of my little cherubs eyes who was responsible. My six year old looked me straight in the eye and swore blind he was innocent. But, like I said, I just knew. I took him away from his brothers to the privacy of the kitchen. I got down on my knees so that we were on the same level and spoke to him in a calm, gentle voice.
I explained to him that whatever he did, the thing that made me most angry was being lied to and he would make me a lot less angry simply by telling the truth. He instantly started crying and told me that he was responsible for the misdemeanour and he hadn’t wanted to admit it in front of all his brothers. I hugged him and explained to him that we all make mistakes and the important thing is that we learn from them and take responsibility for our actions.
I am their mum. I will tell them when they have crossed the line. I will punish them when the need is there. But above all I want to bring them up with good, honest values that they will take into adulthood with them. The way that we interact with each other now is paving the way for our relationship when they are older.
I want my sons to grow up knowing that they can tell me things, knowing that they can confide in me, knowing that I will be there for them no matter what. The teenage years scare me. The thought of letting them loose without me there to keep them safe fills me with terror. At least two of my sons are very impulsive and seem to have the urge to do something just because they are told not to do it. I am not naive, I know that they are going to get themselves into scrapes from time to time. Rather than hide these things from me, I want them to know that they can come to me and although I won’t always be thrilled with the choices they make, I will be there to help them make the right choices in the future. I want to have an open, honest relationship with all of my boys.
It is important that we get them to confide in us about the little things now, otherwise they won’t confide in us about the bigger things when they are older.