Being a mum of boys it was only a matter of time before my blog would lower itself to willy talk! But what can I say, it may be predictable but it is also inevitable. Shortly before writing this I was subjected to all four of my boys (oh yes, the toddler was led astray too, I kid you not), standing up on the sofa doing what can only be called the willy dance!
Willies are so much fun for little boys. I really do ask myself sometimes why I bother buying them toys at all when they have such a source of amusement right at their fingertips. But boys, let me tell you, the fun things that you do with your willy now will be a big source of embarrassment for you when you are older. Here is a little taster of just a few things which mums of boys can probably relate to.
1. Poke it through the hole in your pj’s! – Oh yes, this is highly amusing to your brothers, even after the 100th time you have shown this trick to them. However, I don’t think your teacher was all that amused when you decided to tell your classmates about this trick. And I was even less amused when she called me in to discuss the inappropriateness of this!
2l. Make it double in size by giving it a little tickle! – Yes, this is one of the worlds most fascinating phenomenons but trust me little fella, there is a time and a place!
3. Wrap it round a pencil! – As fun as this may seem, there are much better pencil grips out there lad!
4. Stretch it to twice its length! – Surely that must hurt, there is only so far that should be humanly possible to stretch it without at least a little wince!
5. Grab your brothers! – As much fun as this little game may seem now, you wait until I share this little gem with your future girlfriends!
6. Try to reach it with your tongue! – No matter how hard you try you will never be able to lick your own willy. You are NOT a dog!
7. Show your mum! – Honestly, how shocked do you really think this will make me when I am the one who has changed your nappies, and bathed you for years? Shock me it will not!
Willies, Doodles, Wonka……….whatever you may call your little man’s dangly bits, you will need to put aside any prudishness you may have about this fascinating body part when you become a mum of boys because you will be seeing a whole lot of it!