Project The Positive Vibes!
Just the other week a friend and I were chatting about a new business venture she has set up with a fellow mum from school. To me they are inspirational. I couldn’t be more excited for them and all of the questions I keep asking are not out of nosiness but out of genuine interest as they try to make a better life for themselves and their children.
Apparently not everyone is this supportive though. In the short time that they have been promoting their business they have come across the ‘mean girls’. We all remember them from school. If your mum bought you Clarks shoes and made you believe they were DM’s like everyone else was wearing (thanks for that Mum!) then they were the ones to point and laugh. If you scored maximum points in your maths test, they were the ones to call you a ‘swot’ and make you squirm in your seat. If you had a big juicy spot on the end of your nose they were the ones to tell you how ugly you were. Every school had them and probably still does.
I would like to think that most people grow out of the ‘mean’ phase. Maybe some see the error in their ways and grow up to be decent adults who we may have been friends with had we met in our later years. Apparently though, this is not always the case. Even in motherhood it would seem that we are still coming across the ‘mean girls’.
Up until last year I was ‘just a mum.’ I lived in my own little bubble that was my family. All I ever wanted to do was be a mum and I was perfectly content with that. I had friends who I met through having the boys and ‘acquaintances’ who I knew through the mum circuit so to speak. The only negativity I came across in life was the ignorant twats for want of a better word who felt it their duty to voice their shock and despair about my little entourage of four men. (I am talking about my sons here as opposed to a gaggle of sexy men I drag around with me, just so that we are clear!)
Last year however I discovered the world of blogging! And, my oh my, what a bitchy world it can be. I always have the view that if you don’t like what you read then don’t read it – simple! I have to say that I have only experienced a few trolls along the way but often see my fellow bloggers subjected to the nastiness that people can inflict when sat faceless behind a computer screen. Although they may be hurtful they are easy to ignore. I actually found it highly amusing one day when a troll came across my blog’s Facebook page and took it upon himself to tell me that I must be very pretentious to be writing a blog (amongst other things that I have erased from my memory as don’t need other peoples negativity taking up my head space!) The funny thing was that I recognised his name and when I looked at his Facebook profile I discovered he was the husband of one of the teachers at my sons school! I took great pleasure in writing a sarcastic reply back to him (good old fashioned British sarcasm is always the best form of defence after all!) and promptly blocking him from my page so he could bring no further negativity!
Anyway I digress! My point there was that it is easy to block a cyber troll. It is not so easy however when people who know you in real life take it upon themselves to rain on your parade. This year has been an exciting year for me. I became a professional blogger just months after writing my first blog post and have been privileged to become a Mama Academy blogging ambassador. I have been able to help charities such as this and UNICEF through my writing which I am honoured to do. I have written a potty training book and recently published my first book for children aged seven and above which I am unbelievably excited about. I have been able to do all this whilst being a stay at home mum which is ultimately what I am. I was asked the question the other day about my job title and I didn’t say ‘writer, ‘author’ or ‘blogger’, I said ‘stay at home mum’ as that is what I still consider myself to be. I love my writing and don’t see it as a job. It is just an added bonus that I am able to make a bit of money through it too.
Most people are happy for the success that I have had this past year. True friends are happy for me. But there are those few who love to shout someone down when they are doing well in something. That person who feels they have the right to send you a message criticising you. That group of mums who sit around their coffee cups gossiping about you. There is still that ‘mean girl’ mentality out there. The only difference now is that rather than feeling like an awkward teen who wants to run and hide I am now confident in myself and just pity those who express their own negativities in life by raining down on the parade of others.
I thought that maybe I had experienced it because blogging opens you up to people in a way that can make you vulnerable. Hearing from my friend that she has experienced it too whilst getting her business up and running reminded me though that sadly sometimes people are just like that. They don’t like to see others do well.
I, for one, am not one of these people though. I love to see others succeed in what they want to do. It is time to leave the jealous hats behind and support one another. It is hard enough being a mum in this world without other mums not ‘having your back’. If someone does something great then be happy for them. If another mum who has been single for a few years hooks up with the sexy new single dad on the scene, then high five her in the playground! If the good looking mum who always turns up to school looking perfect gets a modelling contract because she got spotted in Sainsbury’s then wish her well! And if a fellow mum starts a new business share their page on Facebook! We mums need to stick together!
In the words of Roald Dahl……………….
“If you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely”
So let’s get those good thoughts flowing and project the positive vibes out there!