Ten Rules To Being A Big Brother
Being a big brother is a very important job. You are a role model, a teacher and a partner in crime. Stick to these ten rules and you can’t go wrong………..
1. I can make up any fact I want and tell you that it is true. I am your big brother so you will believe me. If Mum shouts me down mid sentence, ignore her. Big brothers know best!
2. You will wear my ‘hand me downs’ whilst mum takes me out to buy new clothes. I am growing so quickly that I need these new things. Count yourself lucky you don’t have to be dragged round the shops when you grow and Mum can just go to the bin bag of clothes getting dusty in the attic!
3. I will win at any game we play. I would let you win from time to time but how is that going to help you in life? Losing is character building!
4. I will call you ‘idiot’, ‘butt brain’ and ‘dweeb’. Mum will get angry when I call you these things but don’t let it get to you, it’s just what brothers do!
5. The TV remote is MINE. I learnt to use it when I was two but you do not need to do this. I am in charge so I will choose what we watch!
6. I will go along with the Tooth Fairy, Santa and the Easter Bunny as Mum tells me that if I go along with it then I too will benefit from it. I will explain all to you when Mum is not listening though. Then I will explain to you why you too must go along with it now so that we can still get gold coins, presents and chocolate!
7. I will play fight with you to the point that I make you cry at times. I am just preparing you for the hardships you may face in life. Like losing, it is character building!
8. You must not touch my stuff. When the time is right it will be passed down to you, until then you must keep your sticky fingers off!
9. I am the master of mischief and if you want to know how to perfect your skills then look no further. Watch and learn!
10. I will love you unconditionally because I am your brother and there is no other bond quite like it. Just don’t tell Mum though. As far as she knows I think you are ‘the most annoying thing in the world!’