Be True To Yourself!
Today I saw an old couple in their eighties dancing in the middle of a crowded shopping centre as some old swing music played. I thought to myself, how lovely to just let yourself go without worrying what everyone else is thinking. Seeing their sheer abandonment and joy put a smile on my face for the rest of the day as it reminded me of the philosophy that I adopted in 2014 when I first started sharing my writing with others. Be True To Myself.
I am not making any new years resolutions this year. I am not going to vow to eat less chocolate as lets face it, I need all the chocolate I can get when dealing with four rambunctious boys! I am not going to vow to exercise more as quite frankly, any spare time I may have is about 11pm and there is no way I am putting on a pair of running shoes at that ridiculous time! The only resolution I have made for 2015 is to start it as I ended 2014 and continue being true to myself through my writing.
It is hard growing up. I love the way my one year old runs around without a care in the world. It reminds me that all too quickly, our children enter the harsh critical world that we all live in. Judgement starts at a very young age from their peers. A beautiful child made to feel ugly because another child at school has said unkind words about a small mole on their face. An affectionate child made to feel like he can’t give his mum a hug and a kiss goodbye at school as his friends will laugh at him. A child who loves to draw giving up on a dream before it’s even begun because someone makes a nasty comment about their picture.
I myself was a very shy child and often misunderstood as I didn’t feel comfortable expressing myself. I blended into the shadows and felt scared to show my true self. It wasn’t until I entered adulthood that my confidence grew and I became the women I am today. I met a man who didn’t laugh at me when I sang out of key and found my little unique ways endearing. Needless to say, he is now my husband! When I became a mum (after an initial rocky start that I will share in a later blog post, I promise!) my self-confidence reached its peak. I have four little boys who will love me unconditionally as I will them. I can dance in front of them like there is no-one watching. I can sing in front of them and they won’t care if I sound more like a screeching cat than Leona Lewis. As long as I have their love, that is all that matters.
The child who laughed at my goofy teeth in primary school is a distant memory – I can’t even remember their name let alone their face. The bully who tripped me up in school and mocked me when I tried to catch her out in rounders is probably now living alone with just her cat for company. The co-worker who told me my suit was unflattering now has my sympathy as they are probably no further on now than they were all those years ago – being mean to others is a reflection of your own miserable self after all. The point is, these people don’t matter. At the time, they hurt me because I wasn’t wise enough to know any better. I now know that I don’t need to worry what other people think of me.
I just wish I could make my boys believe this. They are still at that young tender age where other peoples unkind words and judgements do affect them. I want to wrap them up in cotton wool and protect them from this harsh world that we live in. But if I want to bring them up to be the free spirits that I want them to be, I can’t do this. The best I can do is give them a big cuddle when they tell me their woes and tell them that things do get easier. I tell them that when they are older their confidence will grow and they too will no longer worry about what others think. They don’t believe me now but in time they will and if I help them to grow their wings, they too will one day soar.
Doe Zantamata sums up my sentiments perfectly with her ever wise words……..