No More Babies!
Tomorrow my youngest little ray of sunshine turns two.
Tomorrow I will, for the first time in 8 years, have four children but no babies either here with me or being nurtured inside of me.
I feel a huge mix of emotions sitting here tonight having just wrapped up my baby’s (as he is officially a baby for 20 more minutes until the clock officially strikes midnight!) presents and laid balloons out on his birthday table.
My little boys are growing up far too quickly. Tomorrow my baby will be a ‘toddler’. From here it will be the blink of an eye before he starts preschool and then school. I predict three more years of innocent cuteness before school takes away his naivety and he learns the art of being cheeky (but no longer in a cute way!).
When my first son turned two, he had already been a big brother for seven months. Three weeks after my second son turned two, I gave birth to my third son. A few months before my third son turned two I fell pregnant with my fourth son. Tomorrow my youngest son turns two and I don’t have another baby to look after and I don’t have one growing inside of me. It feels like the end of an era!
I have successfully made it through four lots of baby years. I have changed literally thousands of nappies. I have breast fed for a total of almost two years. I have sung twinkle twinkle little star at 3am so many times that I can now sing it in my sleep.
I have cherished every first word and every first step. There is nothing like seeing your baby grow from a vulnerable tiny little bundle to the active rambunctious toddler they so quickly become.
I feel sad for the fact that I will never again feel a baby move inside me. I feel sad for the fact that I will never again see my boys excited faces as I bring them home another brother to add to their little pack. I feel sad that I won’t ever see a first smile again and hear my baby say a ‘m’ sound and swear blind that he said ‘mummy’,
I will always get broody as being maternal is part of being me. I will feel a flutter in my ovaries every time a friend falls pregnant. I will feel tears of happiness whenever I cuddle into the smell of a newborn baby.
But I can finally say that I no longer have the longing to have another baby. I have four little boys who will always be my babies even when they have babies of their own. I have officially done my bit for the future of the male population!